Halloween Fight: Ash Williams Vs Buffy Summers

Mecha: The Combatants are set and it's time to settle the debate once and for all.

Steel: And that will be my main man, Ash!

Truth: No, it's Buffy.

Steel: Ash!

Truth: Buffy!

Steel: ASH!!

Truth: BUFFY!!

Steel and Truth: FAN WAR!!!

With a loud battle cry, the two co-hosts wrestled each other to the ground as they wrecked the room around them in a cartoonish dust cloud. Mecha simply looked dumbfounded at the sight of it.

Mecha: Shouldn't we stop them?

Virgil: Kick his ass, Truth! Bite him in the ear, kick him in the crouch!

Mecha: ......... Ask a stupid question and you're bound to get a stupid answer. Oh well, it's time for a Death Battle!

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Sunnydale, California

7:00 P.M

Today was a special night for the people of Sunnydale, because tonight was the time of Halloween. Everyone of all ages flooded the streets as they walked about in colorful costumes, the children out with their parents trick or treating,  while the older kids headed out to a costume party. Everyone was happy as can be, blissfully unaware of the terror that would sweep the town once again.

Even on holiday, Sunnydale doesn't seem to catch a break. 

Or that's what one teenage thought as she ran towards the cemetery. She was a youth lady with blonde hair tied in a ponytail,  a red jacket over a white t-shirt and blue jeans; this is Buffy Summer , the Slayer.

The night before, Buffy had a vision as she dreamed of a horde of demons raising from a grotesque looking book as they rained death and destruction on her town. But before the dream ended, Buffy saw the silhouette of a man with a with a sawed off shotgun and a ...chainsaw?

She eventually arrived at the graveyard to find a horde of demons plaguing the grounds of the graveyard. Doing what she does best, Buffy pulls out her trusty stake and going to town on them. 

But as she stabbed one in the chest and dispatched it, Buffy failed to see one of the demons sneak up behind her and pounce at her. But it's flight was made short term as a shot rang through the air, sending the demon flying. Buffy looked towards the source and found herself face to face with an middle aged mand, with mess black hair, a torn blue shirt covered in blood stains, a metal hand replacing his right hand, and a sawed-off shotgun. 

This was Ash Williams.

Ash: No need to thank me sweet cheeks, it's what I do. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some more killing to do.

Ash turns to leave, Buffy ran towards him and grabbed his shoulder.

Buffy: Hold it, buddy! You're coming with me.

Ash: Look normally, I would love to go with another lady, but I got better things to do.

Buffy: You just killed a demon with a crappy shotgun, we need to fig-

Ash:Woah, woah, woah! This ain't no crappy shotgun;  this my Boomstick! 

Buffy:  Boomstick,  really?

Ash: This coming from a girl carrying around a pointy stick.

Buffy: (GASP!) How dare you make fun of Mr.Pointy!!

Ash: Weren't you the gal who made fun of my Boomstick,  so with a name like Mr. Pointy,  you really shouldn't judge me.

Buffy: ....... You know what asshole,  I was going to try and be civil, but now I'm going to kick your ass and drag your unconscious body back with me.

Ash: Trust me honey , you do not want to mess with me right now.

Buffy: (Pulls out stake with a twirl) You wanna bet?

Ash: ( Pulls out Boomstick from holster) Bring it!

So the two horror ass kickers face off with a dirty glare between them. As the October wind flew through the graveyard, Buffy and Ash ran at each other.  

FIGHT!!!

Buffy strikes first as she brings down her stake but Ash grabs her by the forearm with his metal hand as he held her arm behind her back. But Buffy backfliped over Ash and kicked him in the back, causing him to to stumble toward and as he turned around, Ash found his face at the end of a right hook to his face. Realizing his weakness, Ash fires his Boomstick into Buffy's direction as she nimbly dodges the shots, as they chased each throughout the graveyard.

They eventually found themselves near a church as Buffy hid inside with Ash on her tail. As Ash walked through the empty rows of seats, his eyes look on towards a statue of Jesus when he was crucified. A short then begins to chat with the statute. .... yes, seriously. 

Ash: Why is that guys like you and me can't catch a break in life, huh? We try to do the right thing and what do we get; I get my hand cut off and every woman I date killed, and you die for the crap other people do. Well, at least you mean something to...... welp, I can scratch that one off the bucket list, " Talking to a statue of Jesus Christ in church at the dead of night.".  I say I'm going crazy,  but I stop questioning that when I got to the zombies in tights."

Before Ash could make sense of his questionable sanity, Buffy lunged at him from a row chairs as they rolled on the ground, trying to one-up another.  They did everything to hurt each other; pull at their hair, bite their ears, a few punches, etc. before eventually rolling back into the graveyard,  as Ash eventually managed to pick himself up and point his Boomstick right at Buffy's face as he pulls the trigger and .....

"Click!"

No shot came out.

But as Ash reached into his pockets to reload, he failed to realize he left himself wide open when Buffy was back on her feet as she gave him a good kick to the chest, sending down to the ground on his back. As Buffy was about to give him a good drop kick, Ash gathered a good chunk of dirt in hand and threw it into Buffy's eyes, momentarily blinding her. Ash made a mad dash towards the empty part of Sunnydale as it took a few good minutes before Buffy got the dirt out of her eyes and followed after him.

She eventually arrived into the parts of town that was mostly empty due to the residents being out and about in another side of town. Buffy watched the streets as she searched for her opponent, Buffy spotted the new S-Mart that was just built a week ago; she really didn't see a reason for another superstore in Sunnydale, but she was the only thing that kept the town from turning into a Halloween nightmare, so what did she know?

Buffy's train of thought was interrupted as a shot ran through and a bullet scraped the side of Buffy's arm, causing her to duck behind a trash can for cover. She peeked a bit over to find Ash holding a Winchester rifle. As Buffy hid in the alleyway,  she looked around for something to use, and to her surprise,  she found a perfectly good crossbow just lying there, fully loaded.

Who was she to look a gifted horse in the mouth? 

Taking it into her hands,  Buffy looked over the trash can and fired an arrow at Ash as he ducked to the side. It became a game of hide and shoot as both sides would fire a round from their weapons only for the other person to duck and cover, rinse and repeat. It was like a game of camping with Call of Duty players.

Sick of the tired strategy, Buffy decided to sneak around the alley; she knew these streets like the back of her hand. Ash getting suspicious of his opponent's lack of engagement,  decided to check where she was hiding, and just as he found her gone, Buffy came at him with a battle axe with a pointy end and nails. With nothing to defend against it, Ash use his Winchester rifle like a sword to defend himself as Buffy swung it down, the blade cutting the rifle in half. But quick on the draw, Ash used the butt of the bisected rifle to hit Buffy over the head, and make a mad dash towards an abandoned warehouse

As Buffy walked through the empty warehouse, holding her scythe tightly in her hands. As she walked further in, the sound of a motor trying to start up filled stood out like a sore thumb, but when it sounded like it was up and ready to Buffy looked for the source of the nice and found Ash right behind her with a chainsaw replacing his metal hand.

Ash: Groovy. 

Ash held his chainsaw in his remaining hand as he took a swipe at Buffy, but she simply dodges to the side. But as she used her scythe, Ash block it with his chainsaw arm as sparks flew when the blades clashed; though Buffy had the greater strength, Ash had a better cutting weapon. The ripping edge of the chainsaw struggled against Buffy's scythe until finally, with one strike, the chainsaw ripped straight through the scythe, leaving Buffy with only her trusty wooden stakes.

Ash swung his chainsaw arm again and again, Buffy kept out of his reach with superior agility; occasionally getting a hit on Ash before he swung at her. It was clear that Ash was outmatched in this instance,  so he adopted the age old strategy of running away; cowardly, yes, but effective to fight another day.

As he ran, Ash struggled to remove his chainsaw hand,  but the process was difficult as he not only had to carry the damn thing while running, but he also had a crazy chick on his tail, who could probably kick his ass if she got close to him. After what felt like 10 minutes, Ash had his metal hand back on and he had just the plan to work with, as he took a trash can lid and threw it like a frisbee; good idea at the time, but the toss was nothing Captain America level as Buffy just swat it to the side.

 Buffy managed to catch up to Ash as she tackled him to the ground,  as she held her stake, ready to skewer him. Ash closed his eyes as he prepared himself for the final blow, but strangely,  it never came. He opened one of his eyes to see the Slayer standing over him with a look on her face that seem to say " Really?" And she held a hand for Ash to grab and pull him up.

Buffy: So, has your head stop swelling, or does your ego need a break?

Ash: You know, not 5 minutes ago, you tried to shoot an arrow at me, so what exactly changed?

Buffy: Look, killing regular people isn't my style. Besides, I still owe you one for covering my butt back at the graveyard.

Ash: And you repay me by trying t o kill me? If that's your way of thanking me, I hope I never see you pissed off.

Buffy: That was for insulting Mr. Pointy and you just being a general ass.

Ash: Gee, thanks for making a guy feel like your stress pillow.

Buffy: All joking aside, I think we got off on the wrong foot, so what do you say we start over?

Ash: If it means we don't have another bitch fight, why not?

Buffy: ( Holds out hand) Buffy Summers, Slayer of Sunnydale. 

Ash: (grabs hand and shakes it) Ash Williams,  Housewares at S-Mart.

Buffy: Really, that's what your going with? It's not exactly threatening.

Ash: Don't ruin the moment here.

But as the two monster killers bond, a bone - chilling shriek filled as Buffy and Ash looked for the source of it; a horde of demons had made it self know by the road to the graveyard and it appeared that there were about 40 of them. Any sane man would have wet their pants at the sight of it, but the only look on Ash's and Buffy's face was simply casual.

Ash: Hey,how about we try something to judge which one is better without killing each other?

Buffy: Go on.

Ash: Whoever kills the most of these primitive screw heads wins. Deal?

Buffy: Deal! Oh, wait, I forgot to give this to you.(Hands Ash his Boomstick. . He checks it and finds it fully reloaded.) 

Ash: How did you-

Buffy: Who knew a store could have shotgun shells. 

Ash: Groovy!  You ready?

Buffy: If you mean ready to kick your butt, yes I am.

With a chainsaw and a Boomstick in Ash's hand with Buffy and her stakes, the two horror icons charged at the oncoming hordes. Blood, guts and gore splatter the streets as the demons stood no against them: the town of Sunnydale could rest easy on this holiday of spooks in peace.

K.O.?

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Next time on Death Battle
When two serial killers clash, you can die of laughter, 
Or you can fall into an eternal sleep.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEjJp7…